Rude Mechanicals

steampunk 1 by jose guerra hermo on Flickr.

Tagged: cs5 photoshop coruña sony gorman greg blanco y negro negro blanco steampunk

Posted on January 10, 2013 with 39 notes

Here’s a teasing taste of my steam-punky erotic story “The New Motor” from both The Bachelor Machine as well as the (very flattering) Betty Came: The Mammoth Book of Erotica Presents The Best of M. Christian.

The New Motor

It is not our place, via hindsight, to say what exactly happened that one particular night. It’s easy to dismiss, with scorn or even a kind of parental, historical, fondness, that he was just visited by vivid dreams, a hallucinatory fever, a form of 1854 delusion (after all, we smile, frown, grimace, laugh or otherwise, this was 1854), or some hybrid kin of them all: a vision 1/3 unresolved traumas, 1/3 bad meal of steak and potatoes, 1/3 19th century crippling social situation. What we cannot dismiss—because it’s there with minuscule precision, in detailed blocks of blurry type in rag pulp sidebills, in the fine-filigreed pages of the genteel or just the skilled—was that John Murray Spear, a spiritualist of some quite personal renown and respect, did indeed depart Miss August’s Rooming House for Gentlemen of Stature (near the corner of Sycamore and Spruce in Baltimore, Maryland), and go forth to tell anyone who would listen—and some did, as those news- papers reported and those diaries told—about his visitation by the Association of Electricizers.

Close your eyes, metaphorically, and envision the images that might have fluttered through the expansive and trained consciousness of Mr. Spear as he lay, barely waking on a cheap mattress more tick than stuffing, the too-warm embrace of a humid Baltimore summer morning pouring through the thin gauze of the window. Amid the jumble and clutter of a day’s thoughts, they walk—as contemporary A. J. Davis expressed: “spirits with a mechanical turn of mind”—into the far-reaching mind of John Murray Spear. Perhaps gears lit with fairy energies, they turn and tumble through his waking, shining metal honed with eldritch tools, playing inadvertent peg-toss with his sheet- raising morning priapism. Maybe a great churning clockwork con- traption whose complexity echoes Medusa’s curse of knowing equally insanity or death. Or they might have taken the form of a Con-Ed employee in bedazzling ethereal refinements, in a saintly pose of divine grace while the animated logos and mascots of every power company that was, is, and will be flitted around his nuclear halo—commercial cherubs to His crackling, humming, arcing, power.

Their form was something that even escaped Spear himself, for when he spoke of their visitation—and he did, oh yes, he did from his own mount and other less spiritual soapboxes—a 220-watt gaze seemed to consume him and his articulations became less detailed and more abstract: “Their form,” he said to his breakfast companions and, often, for many weeks thereafter to any stranger on the street, “is fast and incorporeal. I don’t possess the mind to express their appearance in words, but their message, dear—” Sir, Madam, Officer, Friend “— is clear and ringing in my ears: Go forth, they spoke, go forth and with these two simple hands bring into the world a machine, a great work of engineering, that would take motive power from the magnetic store of nature, and therefore be as independent of artificial sources of en- ergy as this, our own the human body. Go, this conglomeration of spirits pronounced, and build the Physical Savior of the Race,The New Messiah… the New Motor!”

John Murray Spear did, indeed, say these words: from that rea- sonably expensive boarding house in summer heated Baltimore, to the swampy humidity of the capital, then upwards towards the cooler en- virons of the Northeastern states. He spoke of the visitation of the Elec- tricizers to a shocked and tutting crowd of theosophists in Providence, his hypnotic description of the coming glory of the Motor and how it would bring about a new Age of Man Through Machine ticking out of synch with their slowly shaking, disbelieving heads.

He spoke of the Motor in Boston before a hall not as packed as it had previously been for the spiritualist of some repute, and answered with complete sincerity questions of the Motor’s construction (“things of this earthly sphere coupled with the energies of transcendent mo- tion and ethereal force”), creation (“for a small donation you can speed its manifestation and arrival here, to us”), method of operation (“can one envision a locomotive, some new machine of human use and creation, that might come during the new millennium? The works of the Motor may be visible to some of us with the enriched spiritual vision, but the true powers of it will be as unseen as that machine of ages undreamed”), and patentability (“if the material servants of this, our Government of Country, should grant me the license of its man- ufacture then I see no reason not to accept”).

Coal-and-snow beard, hair wild with his feverish retellings, sup- ple (for a man of his forty summers) body bending wildly with each description of the glory of the Motor and his saving of mankind through its mechanical enlightenment, Spear made himself a sight as he traveled. For some he was a sight that brought smiles, frowns, or sadness at his state of affairs. But as he slowly, town by town, street by street, meeting by meeting, told his tale, made his claims, his en- treaties, he gathered people who listened earnestly to his description of the Mechanical Savior of the Race, the New Motor…

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On a weird side note, the tale of the New Motor is based on reality - and you can read about John Murray Spear and his spiritual contraption in my non-fiction collection, Welcome To Weirdsville

Tagged: steampunk erotica sex

Posted on October 8, 2012 with 3 notes

Here’s a big congratulations to all the wonderful authors in my anthology My Love Of All That Is Bizarre: The Erotic Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes - a fantastic review by Lototy for Coffe Time Romance!

For all that we know about Sherlock Holmes there is much that is a complete and total mystery about him - and, as he would say himself, a that is a puzzle that should be addressed. Is it any wonder that so many of us have scratched our much-smaller craniums and pondered his relationships, trying to use his own maxim of “when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth” to peer down deep into those mysteries? This timely collection focuses on his unmentioned private life. In short, the great detective’s amorous inclinations, the part of life Victorians were so silent on, but so profligate in its practice. And the authors don’t stop there - you will also find stories about the sexual side of other key characters who make up the canon: Irene Adler, Mrs. Hudson, Dr. Watson, and even that most infamous of villains, Professor Moriarty. Included are many of today’s most popular authors including Michael Kurland (American Book Award and the Edgar Award finalist), Angela Caperton (Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica), M. Christian (Lambda Award finalist), and such other distinguished practitioners of the short story and novelette as Cesar Sanchez Zapata, Kate Lear, Wade Heaton, Dorla Moorehouse, Ivo Benengeli, Billierosie, Zachary Jean, PM White, Violet Vernet. As Holmes himself said: “The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come!

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The Adventures of the Gentlemen Travelers

She has seen many things in her life, but the young servant girl is about to get a whole new eye opener.

He may be exceptionally good at solving mysteries, but that is not all that interests Holmes.

The unique make-up of the house provides the young girl a particularly good vantage point to listen in and observe her favorite detective, and she settles in watch. Holmes does not disappoint when it comes to the case, but what he engages in with Watson sets her body on fire.

We all have a little voyeur lurking under the surface, and this is just what it is looking for.

The Many Facets of Ecstasy

Setting out to complete her mission Madame Josephine Gellizeau goes to the one man whom she knows will have the answers. The lady is and is not all that she seems, but Holmes has no doubt that he will uncover the truth. Holmes listens intently to what Ma dame Gellizeau tells him, and then he acts. Once again Watson is awed by his friend’s acuity, but this time he is also inflamed by the lengths they will go to reveal everything. Challenges and mysteries are Holmes’ forte, but this story adds a steaming hot element not to be missed.

L’Instinct Suffit

There is more to learning a language than just memorizing the words, and for Watson, the French language is on a whole other level.

Spending much of his youth in France, Holmes speaks the language fluently, but in the heat of the moment it comes unconsciously as well.

He may not know exactly what Holmes is saying, but for Watson the meaning is clear, and he would not want it any other way.

For these two men French is most certainly the language of lovers, and after this read, it may become yours as well.

Mrs. Hudson’s LodgerTimes are hard, and Martha Hudson will have to rent out space in her home if she wishes to keep it.

The rooms for rent are just what Holmes is looking for, but he is not so sure about the mistress of the house. Finding suitable lodging in London is a necessity for Holmes, and he seems to have found just the place. It seems however that his and Watson’s presence is having quite an unusual effect on their hostess.

This should serve as a warning to any lady who thinks she is past her prime. You could spontaneously combust if you do not seek release on a regular basis!

Holmes and the Case of the Two Couples

Best friends for many years, Holmes is quite surprised by the events of one quiet evening.

It is good for a marriage to keep things interesting, and Watson has every intention of doing just that.

veryone has something they think that no one knows about, but with a friend like Holmes that is quite unlikely. Watson never really thought he would be on the receiving end of Holmes’ clue cracking abilities, but that is exactly where he finds himself.

While I can say I would be rather offended if I were Watson, it just goes to show that a mind like Holmes’ never shuts off.

Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of the Moonstone

Being accused of stealing a valuable family jewel Lady Florence McGuire seeks out the famed investigator. Not all is exactly what it seems; of that Holmes has no doubt.

It may have been a guess on Watson’s part, but he could not be closer to truth or farther away. Watson is also introduced to a lifestyle that he had no previous notion that Holmes engaged in, and he is more than thrilled to be included.

No one can surprise us more than our friends, and in this story Watson gets the biggest surprise of all.

The Curious Case on Pomegranate Street

On the search for Oscar Wilde and his wife Holmes enters into a very uncomfortable situation.

Indulgence in anything that pleases the body and the soul is what Armen lives for.

Not since he was a young man has Holmes given in to baser desires, but now the choice is out of his hands. He journeys back in time to relive a moment of sensual delight, and awakens to find himself being reintroduced to that same feeling.

It is so much more fun to be bad, and I love that Holmes gets to have a whole lot of fun.

The Case of the Unnatural Natural Instinct

Reflecting back Holmes recalls an event he feels it is time to share with his best friend.

Watson always knew his friend had had some very interesting exploits, but this one shocks him nonetheless.

It began with the case of a young woman searching for an unseen lover, but for Holmes to dismiss the woman without explanation confuses Watson. He gets his answer upon her departure however, and it stuns him even more.

This may all be in the name of science for Holmes, but it is a titillating and sexy read for us.

The Picture of Oscar Wilde

Completely distressed Oscar Wilde goes to a friend to help him get some answers. A few good clues lead Professor Moriarty to only one conclusion.

The photograph is good but it has been doctored and Moriarty is pretty confident he knows the culprit. The man blackmailing him is not who Oscar first suspects, but when the evidence is laid out, the truth is revealed.

I find this to be a much more interesting who-done-it, mainly because it puts Moriarty in a whole new light.

The Adventure of the Empty Box

Not much captures Holmes’ interest lately that is until a very unconventional piece of technology comes to his attention.

To get a mystery solved Annabelle King Lovelace requires an expert, and she knows just who to talk to.

Right away Holmes is aware that not everything is on the up and up, and he sends Watson to keep a very close eye on Annabelle. In the mean time he has his own path to follow, but even he is surprised at where it all leads.

Even the best can be caught with their pants down, and it is intriguing to see how Holmes gets out of this very sticky situation.

The Turkish Bath

A nice hot bath is often a luxury not many can afford on a daily basis, but Holmes has a better idea. Having spent a good deal of time in the arms of his best friend and lover, Watson does not need much convincing to try out a public bath house.

The dingy water and overly crowded public bath houses in London make it easy for Holmes to convince Watson to try out the new Turkish baths. The very private atmosphere, cleanliness, and overall ambiance of the baths lead to an extremely satisfying afternoon for both men.

This is one very sexy, sensual, and steamy read, and you are going to love every sweaty second.

The Curious Incident

Moriarty firmly believes in knowing his enemy, and he wants every last delicious detail. The secrets she holds are what he is after, but will Irene Adler reveal all?

He has the woman in his hands, and Moriarty expects to learn exactly what makes Holmes tick. He has heard rumors, but what he wants from Irene is complete and intricate accounts of the man’s dirtiest secrets.

It is plain to see the vicarious thrill Moriarty is getting out of Irene’s tales, and I love how this one keeps you guessing the entire time. Friends, lovers, companions, and confidants describe the wonderfully intricate relationship between Holmes, Watson, and at times Moriarty, and each story has its own version to tell. I love the more erotic tales between these men the most, and The Turkish Bath is probably my favorite. There are also interesting little mysteries in several that will spike your curiosity from time to time. Any one of these authors are well worth the read, but put them all together, and you have a collection that is far from that stuffy English Sherlock Holmes you may have read before.